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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I'm going to talk about positive attitude all right let's talk about how to develop positive thinking and what I really want to tackle in this video because I have other videos that talk about positive thinking and optimism equally entitled positive thinking and optimism I want to check those out but what I want to talk about here is how do you actually cultivate a positive attitude because it's very easy I find to talk about positive thinking to wax philosophical about positive thinking to extol the virtues of positive thinking and we all know that we want to be more positive but then we just kind of fall back into our groove and we remain the negative selves the critical selves the judgmental selves the worrying selves the stressed selves that we've always been so how do you actually do this what I'm going to say in this video is actually that this is a very very advanced topic very few people in life I would say actually have a true positive attitude and of those people that do many of them have it maybe because they were very fortunate with the way that they were raised or because they had very good genetics and genetics is a factor in and actually your happiness and your mood set point that 50% of it is genetic so that can be an important factor as well but ultimately all we care about is what we can control so the genetics I decide you have to play with the cards that you were dealt and so whatever cards you were dealt how do you make the best of them how do you create a positive attitude and no matter how shitty your genetics are or where you come from with your family background or any kind of incidents and trauma that you've had in your life it is possible to create a very very strong positive attitude but ultimately I got to be honest with you it's not something that you're just going to get from watching one video stop bullshitting yourself alright positive thinking people say well positive thinking it's so Airy fairy and it's just wishful thinking actually positive thinking can be a very hard nosed tangible thing the only problem is that almost almost nobody approaches it that way and nobody is very rigorous about their positive attitude so here I'm going to talk about what it really takes to start to develop this and I really started to realize it just in the last in the last six months because I've done so much personal development work studying all these theories all this stuff and a lot of times I'll be able to put into place a lot of nice things for myself in my life externally uncle I'll get my money situation handled I'll get the gym handled I'll get a relationship handled but then what I find is that I'm still not really positive on the inside and the reason that is is that because no external circumstance will ever make you a positive thinker that's inner work you have to do all right so this is ultimately what's going to take is going to take time it's going to take months and years of work so time and work inner work to do this no external circumstance is going to do it if you think that you're just gonna set your life up nicely around you you're going to get a nice house a nice car a nice wife and some other things you're gonna have in your life I mean that'll be nice maybe that'll even make you feel good for a while maybe it'll make you even feel good for a long time but it's not going to make you a true positive thinker it's not going to get you a positive attitude because your attitude it might it's just positive simply because you're in very comfortable surroundings but as soon as I take away or your wife or your car your house or something else or your job all of a sudden you're not going to have a positive attitude you're going to have a very very negative attitude so true positive attitude means that you're positive no matter what it's not a fragile positivity so how do we do this here are the core pillars of how to do this and this is a very deep topic so I'm going to go in other videos and cover these other pillars and more depth but here's the overview number one is that you really have to buy into this idea and accept that the present moment is inevitable as it is all right you cannot be a positive thinker you cannot have a positive attitude if you do not accept this the present moment right now what you think about the present moment is that yeah the present moment is nice but there's something that could be better about it well the present moment could be nicer if only I had blank fill in the blank with whatever you on a thing or a situation or a person or even something about yourself that's different but in the end to have a positive attitude no matter what to have a robust positive attitude you have to come into this realization this connection with with reality with truth and the truth is that in the present moment this moment right now nothing could be different than the way it is no matter how good or how bad you perceive it to be right now nothing could be different than the way it is it's inevitable right the current moment so the future could be different but the present moment cannot be different it is what it is this seems simplistic and you might wonder well that kind of makes sense but what does this really have to do with anything how's this going to change my life that's because you haven't really penetrated into the depth of what this principle really means when you're really penetrating the depth of it and you live from this place and you can do this what you're going to find is that if you just accept the current moment as inevitable a lot of your tensions will kind of melt away and a lot of the things that are bothering you right now that are making you unhappy are going to sort to melt away you're going to be accepting of them not in the sense that you have to tolerate them for the rest of your life or that you don't have to do anything about them but in the sense that for right now in the current present moment this tiny millisecond that we're living in then now that time is like locked in and there's nothing you can do about it and the stress that you're creating the resistance that you're creating to it the fact that you don't like the present moment and you want to rip yourself out of it right this is creating unnecessary struggle which is creating a lot of negativity and warning and anxiety within you that is unnecessary in fact not only is it unnecessary but it's diametrically opposed to having a positive attitude you can't have a positive attitude by definition if you're anxious and you're worried and you're having negative thoughts so you need a way to drop those and one of the best ways is to adopt this principle very very deeply in your life the next principle is another thing that you have to accept and this is something that also people do not want to accept is this idea that worry is useless this is a very tough one even for me to accept that worry is useless somewhere in the back of our minds and even in the front of our minds we make all sorts of arguments for why the worry that we do throughout the day throughout the week throughout the year throughout our whole lives that that worry is somehow justified and that that worry is somehow natural and that that's actually good and then that worry is what's getting us the results that we're getting in our life so it might go seems like this well Leo you're telling me not to worry and you're telling me that worry is useless but wait a minute the other day at my job I was so worried about the report that I had to submit to my boss that that worried kind of lit a fire under my ass and so I went off and I I worked hard on the report and then I finished the report just in the nick of time and I made it by the skin of my tooth and I turn down that report and that report just somehow it got me by and my boss was happy it held it held the situation over but you know if I look back at that situation and if I if I take all the worry out of it and if I wasn't worried about that situation then I would never have gotten ever poured out in on time and maybe I would have been fired so how can you tell me Leo that worry is useless all right so I can relate with this right I can make this argument myself oftentimes I do the problem is that this is kind of a very disempowering way to think and ultimately the more work you do on yourself and the more worried you start to kind of let go in little places what happens that you're so afraid and you're so attached to you're worried that you're like no I need this worry you're like a little child with a blanket who thinks that this little baby blanket that he's grown been growing up with that this is somehow protecting him from the dangers of life and that's what you're doing with your worry is that you're using at this little blanket and you're saying well you know what I need it if I drop and let go this worry then my life is going to turn to and yeah I mean it definitely seems that way but you're going to find is that once you start let go of that worry it's actually not quite as bad as you thought it was and in fact we're going to realize that as you're letting go of more and more worry your performance is improving right it improves and improves I what you can start to find is that those situations like turning in this report with your ball that wouldn't have even been a problem if you weren't a warrior in the first place because the reason you probably got into that situation was because you were worried about it and you started procrastinating and you started building it up in your mind you start having negative visualizations you started having resistance towards it and so you didn't do the work until the very last minute whereas if you weren't a worrier then you would have just done it oh you know days ahead of time and you would have done it even better than you did by doing it the last second so that's one way to start to combat this but ultimately again this is a very very deep idea that worry is useless ask yourself do you really believe that even I don't believe it at a subconscious level yet I know it logically I know I should believe it I know that I need to in order to get the performance that I want my life but still it's difficult for me to believe and actually practice I'm retraining my mind every single day as I'm noticing myself worrying that worry is useless because I know that this is a core principle that needs to be put into place to have a positive attitude and why is that well because if you're worrying then you can't be positive and worry happens on a micro level every single minute and second of your day if you are a worrier and if you believe that worry has value then of course you're going to keep worrying so it's not going to work in order to shed all your worry you have to honestly believe truly believe that worry is not serving you in any positive way so that's the second pillar the third pillar is to accept again this is a pillar of acceptance you have to accept that really cheerfulness is the best attitude and the best strategy towards solving problems in life I really think about this one too do you believe that that's true do you believe that being happy no matter what the circumstances are no matter how bad the situation is do you believe that being happy is actually your best way out of that situation see most people would like to say yes but then in practice they behave as though they believe it's a no because what happens is that as soon as something catastrophic happens in their life and all the happiness and all the cheerfulness goes out the window it's like that becomes a luxury and see with this kind of mindset you can't really have a positive attitude not a consistent one it's going to be a fragile one if you want a rock-solid consistent positive attitude then you can't let negative circumstances come and dictate how you're going to feel and again if you think that being scared is actually helpful to you when a negative situation happens or panicking is actually helping you to fix the situation then you're going to keep doing that right because you're going to think well that's the best strategy I mean if something horrible happens to me obviously I should be sad or fearful about it because that's helping me to survive that situation you might say that yourself actually that's not the case that's not true at all but your brain will certainly trick you into thinking that it certainly will that's your kind of survival instinct mode kicking into gear but that's not conscious see to have a positive attitude means you have to be conscious all the time this is a challenge it's challenging to be cheerful in a tough situation it's easy to be cheerful in a nice situation but it's hard to be cheerful in a challenging situation so this is a this is an important pillar to accept now strategy strategy is an important point we need to talk about because a lot of people get mixed up about strategy and what strategy is some people will think that well I'm going to take some sort of strategy towards the situation that I'm going to encounter tomorrow right I'm going to I'm going to make some sort of decision I'm going to deal with my problem in some sort of way and if the result of that interaction between my strategy and the problem if the result is positive and it's to my liking then my strategy was correct and if the result was negative and it didn't go the way I wanted to then my strategy was incorrect that's actually not the right way to approach tragedy that's that's a mistake see proper strategy is correct regardless of the outcome you might wonder well how can that be well take an example for example like poker right in poker there are very clear do's and don'ts for what kind of hands you should play and what kind of hands you shouldn't play because ultimately poker is a pretty simple model it can be modeled mathematically and so you can run the percentages and you can always if you have a computer or if you're got a really sharp mind you can always take a look at the hands and if you see all the player's hands you can always take a look and kind of analyze it run the numbers and say well ok you should clearly fold right now even though you have a strong hand you should fold because the odds are against you or maybe you calculate it the other way around so there are actual like odds right that you should be doing you should be playing but then sometimes if you watch like the World Poker Tour or something like that poker on TV you'll see that some players are kind of like Mavericks and they'll rebel against the odds and even though the odds are against them they'll still kind of play against the odds and sometimes will actually win now what does that mean does that mean that they are smart that they're intelligent that they have a that they have a a proper strategy in place no they just got lucky right and so that could be happening in your life is that you could be getting lucky with various decisions and strategies that you're applying you could be getting lucky that doesn't mean it's the right strategy so what's the point here how does this connect back to took the positive thinking well the way it connects back to that is that this idea that cheerfulness is the best strategy right that's what I'm trying to convince you of is that being cheerful no matter what is happening your life that means if someone dies in your family you still remain cheerful all right think about that this is not this is not I'm not kidding I mean like imagine that in your life that if someone died that was close to you and you could still remain cheerful what would it take for you to do that right that takes like serious internal self-control and discipline to do that not on a force way but actually to genuinely be cheerful not that they died but still cheerful in the moment because I mean what's the sadness going to get you what's the fear going to get you is it going to actually help you is it's the best strategy to live through that life problem if someone dies it's close to you is is getting upset about it or sad about it is that the best way to live through that problem or is the best way to man cheerful see we know logically that the best strategy remain cheerful but in practice how many of us can actually execute that very few right this is where self controls comes in this is where training and discipline comes in building yourself up and convincing yourself of these pillars the more you practice them the more you implement them the more solid and grounded you get in them and actually take root in your life and you can actually use them in tough situations so this is why this is an advanced idea right you can see why this is advanced now because very very few people truly have a positive attitude in life and now you might also have this objection or this thought that goes something like this well Leah okay positive thinking I hear you it sounds nice but isn't positive thinking actually dangerous I mean I'm a realist isn't it isn't it better to be a realist in life rather than to be this starry-eyed optimist and approach everything optimistically isn't realism the best approach I mean what if you're optimistic and then you're all that optimism that you have all those goals and dreams and the outcomes you set for yourself all those just come crashing down when it comes to kind of collides with reality what if you're cheerful and you're telling us not to be all happy then someone close to you dies and then you're not able to maintain that what happens then Leo isn't that reckless isn't that dangerous aren't you setting yourself up for pain and the answer is this you are setting up yourself for pain if what you're doing is you're setting these hard expectations and you're very attached to the outcome but it doesn't have to be that way right see this is where discounters and naysayers of positive thinking will get it wrong is they'll say well positive thinking that's going to set me up for failure that's going to set up to disappointment well the problem is that they're being positive and they're telling yourself well I'm positive and I need the outcome to be positive and if it's not positive then everything's going to hell but see true positive thinking is like be more relaxed be more chill being outcome detached you're a positive thinker you're thinking positive about the situation that doesn't mean that situation won't turn bad that doesn't mean that you can foretell the future and you can get everything that you want to happen in your life to happen in the way that you want it never going to happen on the contrary it means that you're going to have ups and downs you're going to have things unexpectedly happen you might have some sort of lofty ambition or goal for your business and then it comes crashing down and you know the market comes and it it crashes and your business crashes with it or maybe you have some nice expectations and you're thinking very positive about your relationship and then your relationship ends in a divorce that could happen so I'm not saying you can necessarily prevent that in all situations but the idea here is that if you're a positive thinker you remain positive and you're not attached to it see if you're a realist or a pessimist then actually what you're doing is you're like like okay if I'm thinking positive that I need it to actually pan out I need it to be positive all the time and of course that's not going to work that's a neurotic way of doing positive thinking true positive thinking is like being cool and chill and like you know what if it happens good and if it doesn't happen you know still good heads I win tails I win that's what a true positive attitude is about all right so I'm going to wrap it up here this is what cultivating a positive attitude means is really about acceptance you have to accept what do you have to accept one gift accept the present moment as it is completely inevitable number two you have to accept that worry is completely useless and of no value to you number three you have to accept the cheerfulness is the best strategy to go through life with and you have now strive to live up to that right I know it's hard this doesn't mean it's easy it's going to be very hard but if you're like me then you see the long-term potential here I mean how awesome would it be to develop yourself internally so that you could have a true positive attitude about life so that no matter what happens to you you can remain cheerful so that you're not worrying and you're not feeling like you have to worry because you know that the worry is not helping it and that you're in the present moment and you accept the moment as it is if you can achieve all those things and you basically accomplish nirvana you've got heaven on earth you can't not like nothing can hurt you you're untouchable so this is a very powerful goal to set for yourself is to cultivate this attitude over you know over the months and the years as you're growing yourself and you're doing other stuff try to move your way and ensure way up towards having a true positive attitude about life alright this is Leo I'm signing off go ahead post me your comments down below I'd love to hear what you think please like this if you liked this video click the like button so that it gets spread around and also share it share with a friend on Facebook or somewhere else and come check out actualised at work sign up to my newsletter if you like this video then all my videos are very similar I'm talking about the psychology of life how do you master your life how do you master your mindsets how do you master yourself so that you can go out there and put into place all the external niceties of life good relationship good career good business good money good health you can do all that stuff but ultimately it's how to master yourself from within and grow yourself to me that's the greatest joy life is self actualization self growth self improvement and I'm delivering on a weekly basis tips strategies techniques all the stuff that I'm actively researching every day for myself I'm bring that stuff to you and I'm publishing it on my newsletter for free so weekly you get free updates new articles videos other goodies that I have planned for you go ahead and sign up and I'm going to keep you on track right especially with this positive attitude stuff this is something that you have to baby step your way up towards you're not going to get there just in one leap with one video if you chip away at it over time and you grow yourself and you commit to this process of self growth constant self growth then you will get there and that can be a very very powerful thing that is what it really means to have an extraordinary life so go ahead and sign up 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